It was 1982, and I had turned x three months earlier. I had passed through that awkward phase of puberty and was an attractive kid; I played on the JV football team and was reasonably popular. It was Christmas Eve, and I had gone upstairs to my room after spending the evening singing carols with my family. As I changed into my flannel pajamas I noticed a note on my pillow, so I picked it up and read the words that would soon change my life: "Ted, I have a special gift for you. Come to my study at 2:00 a.m. Love, Dad."I glanced at the clock and saw that it was not quite 11:30. I wondered what Dad had for me, and why he had to give it to me at such an odd hour. Obviously, it was meant to be a secret, but what could it be? I was definitely intrigued. I had asked for an Atari that Christmas, but didn't see why he would give it to me in the middle of the night. I set my alarm for 2:00 so that I would not doze past the appointed time, but need not have done so. I was far too excited to. "Oh, very badlyindeed!" she replied. "I have scarcely closed my eyes the whole nightthrough. I do not know what was in my bed, but I had something hardunder me, and am all over black and blue. It has hurt me so much!"Well, the princess didn't actually fell the peas but due to the witch'smagic he thought he felt something very hard under him and so couldn't sleep well.The result was that everyone thought that the lady must be a realPrincess, since she had been able to feel the three little peas throughthe twenty mattresses and twenty feather beds. None but a real Princesscould have had such a delicate sense of feeling.The Prince accordingly made her his wife; being convinced that he hadfound a real Princess. The three peas were however put into the cabinetof curiosities.At the end of his wifehood the prince regained his manhood and wentdirectly to the witch who welcomed him warmly.He asked the witch whether she would marry him. To which the witch cameforward and kissed him sensuously.
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